Tag: ULTRA RELATIONSHIP NEWS

[Actually, despite what another lister posted yesterday about THAT day being “Bad Joke Friday,” it’s TODAY that is our often highly touted BJF—which a few of us know and love, but almost all of us, apparently, haven’t missed.  So let me do my part to try to revive it.  The following conversation actually had its...

[Continued from Part 1] STRAW: Oh YASSS! I take… and I… slowly… calmly—a’ corse my ticker’s poundin’ away inside my chest and my you-know-what’s acting like a tent pole… so I’m arching up like a carport… and… EDDIE: …you slip the grape in? STRAW: Yup! EDDIE: Cool! So, how’s it taste? STRAW: At this point,...

[Sorry to have been away last week. I was simply doing myself what all these goofy characters are supposed to be doing: RUNNING. I went to Peoria, Illy-noise, which I like to refer to as Pee-Town, and ran a footrace there. And THIS is all you need to know about THAT. It was horrible. I...

[Think of me as your “fly on the wall.” I buzz around coffeehouses and breakfast nooks listening to all you amazing (and tired) ultra-long-distance runners COMPLAIN—after finishing your long runs on weekend mornings—about stuff… like flies. Think of me also as having a fly-sized tape recorder. Hmmm… do they still even make “tape recorders”? Anyway,...

[Live from Chi-Town: “It’s BAD JOKE FRIDAY NIGHT!!!” And then there’s this: I feel I don’t owe any more grateful acknowledgements to playwright and screenwriter David Mamet. His funny-sex-dialogue shtick that “inspired me” only lasted for one scene of one play (“Sexual Perversity in Chicago”); my shtick is continuing ad infinitum. Hah. In case you...

[Sorry for the week off, but at this time during last week’s “Bad Joke Friday,” I was taking on some real heat along a footrace course in New Jersey. Totally uncharacteristically, NJ was HOT AS HELL last weekend, and some kind folks were wondering why I chose THAT, instead of sitting in air-conditioning and writing...

[Editor’s Note: Welcome again to “The Return of Bad Joke Friday!” Eh? Of course, if it gets any later, this’ll have to get passed off as “Bad Joke Saturday,” and then you all can be visiting after your own long runs, and talking amongst yourselves about all the horrible interpersonal relationships y’all have had. Heh....

[Editor’s Note: Since only a few have bothered to complain (privately) it seems completely outrageous to continue this series publicly. Or not. You decide. Delete or bear with. Hey, it’s yet another “Bad Joke Friday,” eh?] ULTRA RELATIONSHIP NEWS Number 3, “The Ex” by Yours Troubly (With all due homage—and nothing else—paid to David Mamet,...

[Editor’s Note: Continuing right along now with all this merriment, we have yet another twisted version of a “Bad Joke Friday.” And again, either delete now or bear with…] ULTRA RELATIONSHIP NEWS Number 2, “The Strawman” by Yours Troubly (With all due homage—and nothing else—paid to David Mamet, but now with somewhat necessarily changed language,...