Real Men/Women of Genius #52

[Does it come as any surprise now–after what seems (to me) to be like A MONTH!–that my computer is now repaired and back on top of my desk? (It’s why they call it a “desktop” methinks.) Anyway, today also marks about one full year in the business of contributing to Bad Joke Fridays with… yo, these bad jokes. And today’s episode was actually witnessed–I could not possibly make this stuff up, folks–by yours troubly a couple weeks ago while running, yes, along a “path.”]

Bud Light presents…

REAL MEN OF GENIUS

{Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss}

Today we salute you, Mr. Extreme-Fitness Runner Who’s Towing a Tire Behind You on a Tow Path.

{Mis-ter weee can see YOU’re an en-thooz-i-ast!}

Because of you, we now all know beyond any shadow of a doubt just why the wheel was invented in the first place.

{The fiiiiirst wag-ons must-have-all-been sleds! }

And we shudder to think, what would that original inventor have invented if, say for example, he was cognitively challenged, ADHD, or even–Oh My God–emotionally disturbed?

{Probbb-bab-ly an oil rigggggg!}

He would have invented a tire to drag FLAT on the ground by a tow rope behind him. He would have argued how this actually helps his running, how it helps him to go faster, and how it does wonders for his quadriceps. All the sexy cavegirl troglodytes would’ve all been agog.

{“I waaaaaaaaaan-na Ne-an-der-thal like THAAAAAAAT guy!”}

But what is it, a radial two-ply 13-incher that fits on a go-cart? Why aren’t you REALLY kicking up your fitness level a notch by mounting a monster truck tire on a John Deere rim and dragging THAT sucker for the next twenty miles? With any luck, the chain you’re towing it with will overheat from the friction and melt away completely before you get to the turnaround.

{“Wherrrrre are all those cave-grrrls nowww???”}

So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light from the store on that dock by the barge when you get there, because, as all the boat traffickers on the canal can easily see, our ancestors must’ve missed out on your wisdom by insisting that their mules tow barges instead of wagon wheels.

{Mis-ter Exxx-treme-Fiiiit-ness Run-ner Who’s Tow-ing a Tire Be-hind on a Towwww-ing Path!}

Bud Light beer: we don’t care where it’s made; we just dig their commercials.

( O_O )

Yours troubly,
The Troubadour

Yankee Folly of the Day:
We think BP could use a genius like this.