Real Men/Women of Genius #48

[Well, thanks to nobody who wasn’t curious enough to possibly give-a-sh*t less, yours troubly did, in fact, complete Uncle Sam’s Trillion Dollar Ultramarathon a few hours before cutoff. Too bad yours troubledly couldn’t do that in regular ultras as well. So today’s “offering” to the comedy-challenged gods & goddesses was inadvertently suggested awhile ago by my man, Ray Krolewicz. So, yeah, today my thanks goes out to Ray the K!]

Bud Light presents…

REAL MEN OF GENIUS

{Real men of geeeeeene-yuss}

Today we salute you, Mr. Overly-Prepared Two-Bottle-Waistpack-Plus-Rucksack-Carrying Runner Dude.

{Mis-ter “Ya mean air-lines are nowww CHARG-ING for exxx-tra lug-gage?”}

You, however, don’t need to worry about extra baggage charges at check-in, because you’ve got it all on your back. And you always insist upon carrying it all on your back, too, even if all’s you are running are repeat quarter miles on your local high school track.

{“What ifffff the aid sta-tions don’t car-ry myyyyyyyyyyyyy ve-gan foods?”}

“It never hurts to be prepared,” you insist? Sure. But you are now prepared for typhoons, floods, earthquakes, thermonuclear warfare, and the eventual starvation of our entire disease-ridden planet. And yet, what you are now actually running is the local YMCA’s “Hurry Scurry” 5K footrace.

{“Yooooooooooou nev-errr ev-errrrrrrr know!!!”}

Yes, it is possible during a longer, say, marathon or ultramarathon, to maybe encounter a fallen comrade who might just need something from the entire drugstore you’re carrying, but most other runners might content themselves with just informing some race volunteer up ahead as they whiz by. You, however, are prepared to offer full emergency room services right there on the spot.

{“I uuuuuuuused to beeeeee a corpsman.”}

So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light from that insulated “cozy” you keep in a side pocket, Oh Marine Corps Vietnam Medivac Vet, and keep holding fast to those “semper fidelis” and “always prepared” Boy Scout mottos because, after all, the Russians *could* have your ass targeted, even as we speak, to receive their next nuclear multiple-warhead guided Inter-Continental Ballistics Missile.

{Mis-ter O-ver-ly-Pre-pared Two-Bot-tle-Waist-pack-Plus-Ruck-sack-Car-ry-ing Run-ner Duuude!}

Bud Light beer: we don’t care where it’s made; we just dig their commercials.

( O_O )

Yours troubly,

Rich Limacher
TheTroubadour@sbcglobal.net

Yankee Folly of the Day:
We should actually be thanking Uncle Sam for his insistence–at taxpayers’ expense–upon equipping such a full service military. Because the very next time my village is nuked while I’m running repeats on the track? I will be very, very grateful that someone will show up with a chilled beer in his backpack. Just sayin’…