Real Men/Women of Genius #108

[Today’s “Bad Joke Friday” contribution is based on an idea first suggested by my dear old (not so old, eh–she’s my age!) college friend Therese Simoneau, who worked with me on the student paper. Over the years her commentaries, observations, and political analyses have been spot-on and priceless. Without her, I’d still be the News Editor at Normal, yes, Illinois. Thanks, Tess! ;-]

Ingelhook Wineries present…

REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS

{Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss}

Today we raise our glass to you, Mrs. “I Don’t Wanna Run” Either For Office Or Far Enough To Finish A Marathon.

{“IIIIIIIIII’m ha-ving toooooooooooooooo mulch fun faaaaaaaaaaaaaaak-ing it!”}

You had to break our political hearts, didn’t you? We were so counting on being led by your leadership. We just naturally assumed that anyone DNF’ing a first term in a state’s highest office in order to better seek even higher office must’ve obviously known what’s she’s doing.

{Butt weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee don’t-have-a-cluuuuuuuuuuuuue!!}

We were so looking forward to next November, and not just to fall in behind you at the New York City Marathon, but to cast our sincerest and most heartfelt ballot for one so obviously deigned by God–by God!–to, so help you God, re-pare dys county, refudiate da nay-sayers, and sleight-of-handedly clause the single greatest restivlution in the herstory of the whirled!

{OWWWWWWWE MYYYYYYY GAUD!!!}

And neither are you running the full marathon, are you, Our Dear?

{“But I AM a runnnnnnnnnn-ner! I’ve been feeeeeeeeeeea-tured in ‘Runnnnnn-ner’s Worrrrrrrrrrr-rld!'”}

“Cheese legs”? Doctored bibs? Swapping-out sweatshirts and headbands mid-race? Having a doting husband with a car nearby? Have you never heard of not only Paul Revere, but Rosie Ruiz too?

{“Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee must haaaaave been be-fore myyyyyyyyyyyy time.”}

Photo ops with “Team Leukemia”? High school boys’ cross-country? Please. Judging from the hundred$ you’ve raised–or enhanced–for your own “war chest,” charity runners might be better served by having their pictures PhotoShopped with Goofy at Disneyland.

{“IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII’m run-ning-hard-through-the-Maaaaaaaaaa-gic-KING-dommmmmmm!”}

So wear your silver age-group-placing medal proudly and pop that White Zinfandel cork quickly, O Masterful Mistress of the Legerdemain, because while some of us at the after-party are just sipping tea, the rest of us are convinced that “The Thrilla from Wasilla” is THE best gorsh-darn non-running enterstainment dat wee have never sheen.

{Misssssssus “I-Don’t-Wan-na-Runnnnn” Eeeeeeeeeeei-ther For Off-fice Orrr Far Eeeeeeeeeee-nough To Fin-ish-A-Mar-a-thonnnnnnnn!}

White Zinfandel yuppie wine: we don’t drink it ourselves; we’d rather guzzle beer.

( O_O )

Yours troubly,
The Troubadour

Check out this new outlet:
http://www.trailrunevents.com/ul/stories.asp

Resource:
http://thefuntimesguide.com/2004/10/bud_light_real.php

Yankee Folly of The Day:
A combination of this:
http://ozmud.wordpress.com/category/hey-sarah-about-that-marathon/
And this:
http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2011/10/105741/.