Real Men/Women of Genius #106

Ingelhook Wineries present…

REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS

{Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss}

Today we propose a toast to you, Miss After-The-Marathon In The Family Meeting Area Clothes And Jog Bra Changer.

{Misssssssssss Ohhhhhhhhhhh Myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Gawwwwwwwk!!}

You just can’t resist–or wait–can you? You’re feeling all hot and sweaty with a huge compunction to change your clothes–right then and there amidst at least twenty-five thousand of your closest friends…and their friends…and all of your families…and all the reporters…and all those cameras.

{“I haaaaaaaaaaad-n’t reeeeeeeeeeeally no-ticed?”}

Off with the shoes, off with the socks, the compression socks, the singlet and shorts (retaining the thong of course)…then also the gloves, the ear warmers, the ball cap, the iPod-and-wires, those Velcro thingies, your bib, your chip timer, your scrunchie, and–lest you or anyone else in the city forget–that jog bra.

{“Noooooooooooo-bod-y will miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind, willllllllllllllllllllll they?”}

It doesn’t take long–or much–does it? Just flip, over the head, wiggle a little, and reach into your gym bag for that flimsy T-shirt and the rest of your “street clothes”–which at this point might not look all that different from your running outfit.

{“Buttttttttttttttttttttttt ev-er-y-one ELSE iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis chaaaaaaaaaaaaaang-ing too!”}

Stripteases like this could make you famous. You are actually illustrating the real-life real-time equivalent to all that graffiti scratched inside all the porta-potties and men’s rooms throughout the United States. “For a good time, watch Sally. She’s right outside this door, sitting over there in the grass. Just walk out this box and gawk.”

{“I reeeeeeeeeee-al-ly AM verrrrrrrrrr-ry qui-et and shyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.”}

So *tease* that cork out gently from your White bottle of Zinfandel, O Gypsy Rose Lee, when you actually do meet up with your friends; because if you haven’t found a boyfriend by now, you will suddenly have around twelve thousand five hundred just before you zip up that gym bag… and at least six million more after they watch the Evening News.

{Missssssss Aaaaaf-ter-The-Marrrrrrrr-ra-thon-In-The-Faaaaaaaa-mil-y-Meeeeeee-ting A-reee-a Clothes-And-Jog-Bra Chaaaaaaaang-er!}

White Zinfandel yuppie wine: we don’t drink it ourselves; we’d rather guzzle beer.

( O_O )

Yours troubly,
The Troubadour

Check out this new outlet:
http://www.trailrunevents.com/ul/stories.asp.

Resource:
http://thefuntimesguide.com/2004/10/bud_light_real.php.

Yankee Folly of The Day:
In Chicago we have Grant Park for your clothes-changing convenience, and Channel 5 for your later coverage of all these visuals and, oh yeah, the marathon too.