Real Men of Genius #5

 

[So, yeah. In honor of Paige Troelstrup, it’s another BLF. Last week she’d written: “This should become your Friday tradition…BLF (Bud Light Fridays). Love ’em!!”]

Bud Light presents…
REAL MEN OF GENIUS

{Real men of geeeeeene-yuss}

Today we celebrate you, Mr. Stubborn You’re-Lost-But-I’m-Not Trail Ultramarathon Runner.

{Mister Stub-born You-ARE-lost-nut-I-am-most-certainly not Runnnn-err!}

You already know how easy it is to spot ribbon after ribbon in the forest and just follow where they lead. So of course when you miss one, you already know that if you KEEP ON going straight, you’ll eventually find another.

{Whoa! There’s nothing hanging off of THESE trees!}

So, on you trudge. Everyone else you encounter or see behind you is obviously going the wrong way. Even if you magically come back to the exact same aid station you left five miles ago, you are SURE those volunteers have picked up and moved it ahead–just to mess with your mind.

{They’re all yelllllling to turn around!}

But not you, Daniel Boone. You KNOW better. And at the next ribbon you don’t see telling you to turn, you STILL keep going straight. Straight till you run out of woods. Straight on through the neighborhood, the parking lot, the shopping center. Straight across the baseball diamond to the Interstate Highway. And then STRAIGHT along the shoulder of the Interstate through TWO more counties.

{Maybe there’s a ribbon on the next Exit sign!}

Straight up the driveway of the first house you come to after completely running out of fluids.. and they call the sheriff.

{Help! There’s a psycho-killer on our doorstep!!!!}

So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Oh Hawkeye the Pathfinder, although they probably won’t let you drink it in the squad car. Save it till you hit your hotel room, where the message signal flashing on the phone is from the Race Director of the TRAIL ultra you never quite found your way back to. He’s calling to ban you from EVER entering another one of his trail races for as long as he shall live.

{Mister Stub-born You’re-Lost-But-I’m-Not Trail Ultramarathon Ruh-unnnn-err!}

Bud Light beer: we don’t care where it’s made, we just dig their commercials.

( O_O )

Good luck to all the MMT runners this weekend!
Yours troubly,
The Troubadour

Yankee Folly of the Day:
No kidding, the above incident really did happen at Massanutten a couple of years ago. What, you think I could make all this up?