Real Men of Genius #4

Bud Light presents…

REAL MEN OF GENIUS

{Real men of geeeeeene-yuss}

Today we salute you, Mr. Unofficial Volunteer Trail Marshal Guy.

{Mister unofficial volunteer trail marshal guuuuuy!}

You know who you are. You walk out into the woods during our ultras encouraging us with “looking good” and “way to go,” like as if we could hardly struggle on without you.

{Your next aiiiiiiiiiid station is just ahead!}

But your primary purpose is keeping us from getting lost, which you do anyway because while you’re “way-to-go-ing,” you’re standing in front of the trail marker, which we then can’t see, so we take the wrong path, which you didn’t think about, because you, like us, have never been here before.

{Whoa! You’ve just added on five more miles!!}

“Only a quarter-mile to the next aid station!” you exclaim, all the while walking farther and farther away from the aid station without ever readjusting your dialog. After two hours of walking, you STILL tell us that there’s JUST one-lousy-quarter-of-a-mile to go before refilling our empty bottles and saving our lives from death by thirst.

{Gatorade’s on the le-eft side!!}

So pull out a partially still cool Bud Light from your backpack, oh faithful Tonto the Indian Guide, and try not to let it get hot just yet, because while you’re telling us how little our remaining distance undoubtedly is, under our heaving, panting, parched, dying breaths, we’re telling you where to go.

{Mis-ter Unofficial Volunteer Traaaaaaaaail Marshal Guy!}

Bud Light beer: we don’t care where it’s made, we just dig their commercials.

( O_O )

Yours troubly,
The Troubadour

Yankee Folly of the Day:
This phenomenon was first discovered by me while running the Ice Age Trail 50-miler, perhaps a century ago. Something else I once ran (or almost ran) into on that lovely trail in the depths of the big huge vast Kettle Moraine State Forest where hunting is NOT permitted… was some dufus in army fatigues standing by the trailside holding a rifle that, from the ground up, was taller than he was.