Category: Published Musical Nonsense

Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Miss Northern Climes Happy-New-Year Athletic Event Bikini Wearer. {Miss “do yoooou think I should keep my m-m-mit-tens on?”} Is this Miami? Hawaii? San Diego? Not hardly. This is 12-degrees Fahrenheit and you are wearing your bathing suit....

[Hey, THIS ain’t happenin’ tomorrow. So gotta be today, if at all this week. Merry Christmas, allah yous gah-roovy fit ‘n’ fab little (or big) Listers and Listerveens!] Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Santa Claus Hat-Wearing Running Race Runner. {Mis-ter “Is my cute red-and-white...

[Again, thanks for this basic idea is owed to our friend Nancy Shura-Dervin.] Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Miss “I’ve-Got-A-Secret (Pain) And Can-Anybody-Help-Me-Cure-It?” {Miss “oh helllllllllllllllllllllllp-me-pleeeeeease, I have an ouwie!”} You know who you are. Yesterday’s run suddenly produced a strange itch...

[This one actually has an audio/visual aid: http://failblog.org/2009/09/25/women-only-sign-fail/ And thanks for this suggestion is owed to Tim Butterfield.] Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Token White Male Running in a Women-Only Race. {Mis-ter “YOU can-not deny myyyy rights beeee-cuz THIS is A-mer-ick-a!”} So is this...

[Back by popular non-demand after a brief non-vacation. Thanks for this idea is owed to our friend Nancy Shura-Dervin.] Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Self-Appointed for the Listserv Non-Doctor of Medicine. {Mis-ter “That same innn-jurrrr-reeee has hap-pened to meeeeeeeee!”} We’ll just have to buck...

Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we lift our goblet to you, Miss Over-Credentialed Newbie Member of the Ultramarathoning Listserv. {Miss “oh helllllllllllllllllllllllp-me-pleeeease, I’m new heeeeeeeeeere!”} You could be signing up for the whole wrong list. You’re fresh out of college, yes, but you were an All-American cross-country star...

Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Non-Sexual Co-Ed Room Sharer/Travel Companion. {Mis-ter “I’llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll only be neeeeeeeeeeding floor-space!”} Sure, the “call” went out for someone to help share expenses, and you gallantly volunteered. Except, of course, that the call went out from a woman, a naive...

  Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Worrier-Too-Much If Sex Will Hamper Your Running Performance. {Mis-ter Whaaaaat-if-it-taaaaaaaaaaaakes-too-much-out-of-meeeeee?} Nice try, of course. But every single person that subscribes to your same listserv can see right through you. It isn’t how hurt you’ll be the morning-after from...

  Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Mrs. Unknown Trail Runner Following in the Footsteps of Your Brother-In-Law. {Missus “where in the worrrrrrrld are yooooooooooou taa-king mee?”} Here is one big bad fat old ugly hint: *Don’t* follow the brother-in-law. {“Butttttttttttttttttttt heeeeeeeeee’s fammmmmmmmmm-milllll-lyyyy!”}...

  Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Experienced New Trails Explorer With Your Sister-In-Law. {Mis-ter Let’s-go-to-the-can-yons-to-day and bring no waaaaa-ter!} It’s well over one hundred degrees, but you’re cool. You have done this before, and your adoring young in-law looks up to you. So you...