Category: Published Musical Nonsense

Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we propose our toast to you, Mrs. Aid Station Volunteer Who Also Happens To Bring Her Kids. {Missus “I cannnnnn’t find a ba-by-sit-ter sooo WTF did yooou ex-pect me to doooo?”} The little darlings. So sweet, so cute, so… everywhere/all-at-once and benefitting all...

[Thanks today is due to Toni Aurilio for the suggestion—which term you’ll recognize when you see it—and to several other amazing women who have told me “things” relative to this topic. Thank you all!] Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. God’s-Gift to All Running Women....

[Two fine friends to thank this morning! Thanks to Don Charles Lundell, of ZombieRunner fame, for this idea; and thanks to Lynnor (“Erma Bombeck”) Matheney, of the great dust & cactus State of Texas, for this picture]: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=11157564&l=ec9b6e5a67&id=824005424 Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Name-Dropper...

[Despite the recent reaming, comedy and poignancy absolutely prohibit restraint in this case.] Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. E-mailer To The Wrong Guy To Take You Off The Listserv. {Mis-ter “I-sub-scribe-to-this-whole-list-but-I-can’t-staaaand-what-YOU-put-here”!} You’re a very clever boy, aren’t you? You have completely figured out—without anyone...

[My thanks today is due to Megan Finnesy for suggesting this idea, something I personally could never have imagined.] Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Miss Consensual Slave to the Race Director for Preferential Treatment. {Miss “I willlllllllll DO aaaaannnnnnn-y-thing to get in...

Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we lift our goblet to you, Miss Joining-the-Running-Club-to-Bag-a-Hubby, Then Quitting, Babe. {Miss “where ARE all the sing-le men in theeeese woods any-way?”} Where have you been? You joined our sweet little group to find some company for “long runs,” but that was five...

Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Miss Total Running Amazon with The Inferiority Complex. {Miss “dontchoo think I am tooooo taaaaaallllllllllll?”} You are five-foot-ten-and-three-quarters-inches tall and weigh one hundred and fifty-one pounds. You are running with us at a pace of eight-and-a-half-minute miles....

[Again thanks and credit is due to Lora Mantelman for issuing this “challenge” to which the author now responds.] Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Whacked-Out Writer of Real Men/Women of Genius. {Mis-ter What-in-the-hell-are-you-DO-ING-ta-king-up-all-this-space?} So, you are qualified to do this… HOW? To sit and...

Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Running Complainer That Nobody Ever Waves Back. {Mis-ter “Why can’t ev-ree-bod-y jus-getta-long–and waaaave at meeeeeee?”} Boo. Dee. Hoo. Hoo. to. you. Do you wave when you run at every single biped and quadruped—indeed all gawk’s creatures great and small—and...

[We are grateful to Lora Mantelman for suggesting this idea. Thanks!] Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Public Listserv Displayer of Apparently Private Affection. {Mis-ter “I haaaave se-cret code names for EVVVV’RYbunny on this list!”} “Happy Birthday, Sparkie?” “Congratulations on your first 100, Poopkins?” These...