Category: Published Musical Nonsense

Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Shorts-and-Singlet Wearer No Matter What The Weather Is Like For Your Race. {Mis-ter “jac-kets-hats-mitttt-tens-and-tights are toooooooooo con-fiiiii-ning!”} All we have to do to feel warm inside is just take a quick gawk at you. It’s wintertime, the days are...

[I just now thought of this, which should be “dedicated” (uh-huh) to, well, he *knows* who he is! ;-)] Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Race Official and Weather Forecaster Who Casually Mentions “Some Chance of Rain” for Raceday. {Mis-ter “commmmmme fro-lic in-our-rainnnn-drops-and-splash-innnnn-our-mud!”} “A slight...

Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we propose our toast to you, Miss Never-Having-Run-an-Ultramarathon and yet Somehow-Able-to-Give-All-Advice About It. {Missss allll-wise and allll-knowww-ing allll-most exxx-pert on allll-most ev-er-y-thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!} You give new meaning to the old saying “truth from the mouths of babes.” And we all generally do appreciate your...

Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Barefoot SHOES for the Barefoot Runner Inventor. {Mis-ter innnn-ven-tor of reeeeeeeeal-ly ma-gi-cal and oth-er immmmmm-pos-si-ble stuff!} Truly, this is an epic event of recordable creative history that’s every bit as equal in importance to the re-invention of the wheel....

Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Miss OCD Worrywart that You WON’T Be Ready for Your Upcoming Ultra After Having Been on a Rather Strenuous Three-Week Vacation. {Missss just-reeeee-turned-from speeeeeed-hik-ing Southhhh-east Aaaaaa-sia!} You are afraid–aren’t ya!–that you will *not* be prepared for your...

[And folks thought that RWOG #78 was far-fetched. Hah! Lately the Ultra listserv has been all abuzz with totally-serious posts that actually pertain to the same dang thing! :-] Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. You-Don’t-Need-No-Stinking-Metronome Because You’re An iPhone Special Apps User. {Mis-ter innnnn-stead...

[Today we are indebted to our friend Toni Aurilio for suggesting the subject matter. Personally I (and perhaps many of you) have witnessed this very thing in the past along various wooded trails–and in big city alleyways during marathons–but never gave it much thought because men do it all the time!] Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL...

Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we’d like to raise our glass to you, Ms. Electronic Metronome Carrier–on your HEAD, underneath your STOCKING CAP–Who’s Supposedly Just Trying To Improve Your Running Pace. {Mizzzz oh-my-gaud-wherrrrrrrrrrrrrrre didd-ja getttttt that THINGGGGGGG?} There is just something so “wrong” about running up from behind...

Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Blogger-Twitter-Tweeter-Woofer-MySpacedOut-Facebooker While Still Running in the Footrace Footracer. {Mis-ter Whoa! Thissssssss Is A Mouuuuuuuuth-fulllllllllll!!} You are truly something special. Leave it to you to take that “one step beyond” just talking on the telephone–in the middle of some national...

[This, coming in the wake of recent tragedies involving runners and ultrarunners, is bound to “set a few folks off.” But please, bear with me as you would “Mr. Warmth”–Don Rickles–who loves to insult folks, then invite them backstage after the show. Call me “Mr. Cold Dead Hand.” ;-] Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF...