Category: Published Musical Nonsense

Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Alter-Ego Inventor and Pseudonymous Poster to the Listserv. {Wherrrrrrrrrrrrrrre do yoooooooooou come up with this stufffffffff?} Please. “Bumpshack”? “Raw Vegetable Runner”? “Human Sacrifice”? Isn’t it enough that there’s already three thousand strangers subscribing to this whacky cybertronic chatroom in...

Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we propose a toast to you, Miss Self-Confidence–But Absolutely NEEDING To Ask Everyone Else’s Opinion First. {Misssss Oooo-zing With Cer-tain-tyyyy and Brim-ming With Con-fi-dennnnnnnnnnce!} Should you wear compression socks–what does the group think? Should you take supplements–what’s everyone’s opinion? Should you buy new...

Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. “Fresh Flawless” Logic of the Ultrarunning Listserv. {“IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII think, there-fore yooooooooooou must-n’t!”} Patrick Stewart, highly polished little Russian boxes, Hope Pass, and hydration packs big enough inside to smuggle a small child? Wow. The coherence here is truly remarkable....

Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Brandnew English Grammar Creator and Thuslike Hurryuper to Listserv Commentate. {Surrrrrrrrre you cannnnnnnnnnnnn ig-nore theeeeeeeeeeee spell-check!} “I’ve did,” you write. “I’ve now have ran that race to.” “I was their before they got there permit to run they’re.” Ahem....

Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we raise our glass to you, Miss Recent Graduate of Kitchen University as a Registered Dietitian with All The Best Quotes and Answers. {Misssss to-tallllllll-ly colllllllll-lege ed-u-ca-ted cave-grrrl hun-ter-and-gath-er-err!} You’re barely in your 20s–doubtless well schooled in the myriad mysteries of healthy cuisine–but...

Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Totally Confused Directionally-Challenged Race Marshalling Volunteer. {Will you puh-leeeeeeeeeeeease tell us all where to gooooooooo?!} Thank you for your service, sir, but the system of trails you’re supposed to be marshalling is over there. If we follow where you’re...

[Good Afternoon, Seekers of Truth & General Glommer-Onners, and welcome once again to “Bad Joke Friday,” eh? Today’s RM/WoG subject matter was suggested by my terrific ol’ friend Tess Simoneau. If there is anyone alive today who could actually “tess-tify” as to how I was as a (very) young man, she could be it. We...

[Today’s “offering” has been offered by our friend, Louise Mason, who took the time to clip stories like what-this-is-based-on out of newspapers–like, hey, The New York Times–and then snailmail me the clippings. So, our thanks go out to her, whom I otherwise like to call “Louuuuu–WHEEEEEZE”!! ;-] Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al...

[Forgive me, folks, for this particular edition–which isn’t *exactly* about running, but it certainly does involve something we ALL are involved IN…whether we like it or not. Even internationally, all around the world, hey, you have governments. And you do pay taxes.] Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we...

Bud Light presents… REAL MEN/WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men-wimm-men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. AND Mrs. Barkley Marathons Did-Not-Finishers. {Misssssss-ter AND Mis-susssssssssss Barrrrrrr-kley D-N-F-errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs!!} There has never been a “Newlywed Game” quite like this one, huh? Instead of each one predicting what the other will say, you both get to be cast out...