Category: Published Musical Nonsense

[Better late than never, huh?] Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Testosterrific Love-My-Muscle-Car Speeding Highway Hot-rodder. {Mis-ter making-up-for-your-other-seeeeeereeeee-yus shortcomings guy!!!} Never mind that your only other competition along these rural roads are tractors and hay wagons and bicyclists and joggers. YOU, sir, are about to...

[This idea was suggested by Jerry Davison. Thanks, I think.] Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Flame-Throwing Private Warfare Waging on Open Listservs Dweeb. {Who’s this Mr. Hu Flung Poo causing alllll these brown spots on my walllllll????) In medieval times, you’d have a joust....

  Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Last-Place-Finisher of the “Last Annual Vol-State Road Race.” {Mister just barely running-walking-crawling-oozing-rolling-sliming last-place finishing guuuuuy!} Three hundred and fourteen miles. WHAT were you thinking? Did you have a United e-ticket? Were you riding Amtrak? Go-go-going Greyhound? Did you...

  [I’m indebted to Nancy Shura, long-suffering race director, for this idea. ;-] Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Missus Grand Inquisitor of Today’s Ultra R.D. {Missus Give ‘Em Allllllllllllllllllllllllllll the Third Degree!} Only you could come up with questions like these: “Is...

  [I know what I said last week, but this is in honor of all those fine folks out there currently marking Hardrock trail in the San Juan Range] Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Madam “This Is My Mountain; You Need To...

  Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. “This List Is My Press Agent” Partially Famous Guy. {Mister Meeeeee-dia 15-minutes-of-fame type guuuuuy!} You don’t care what WE think. You never joined our Listserv to listen to US. You signed onto this electronical sign-on sheet strictly for...

  Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} You have been waiting for this one for one whole week. {What have we been misssssssssssing?} Today we salute you, Mr. Can’t-Be-Bothered-To-Tell-Anybody-I’m-Quitting-When-I-Quit Dad. {Mister… hey, is THIS the hubby of last week’s psycho-mama with the bear-bait twins?} Of course it’s an “inconvenience.” Of...

  [Why should men be the only “geniuses”?] Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our goblets to you, Mrs. “Run to Daddy, Children, He’s Doing the Trail Ultra” Lady. {Drop ’em off and let ’em run to poppaaaaaaaaaaaa!} Sure, you think it’ll be a nice surprise. You...

  [Our friend Stu Gibeau suggested this one.] Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we toast you, Mr. Can’t Figure Out How To Quit The List Guy. {Mister how-do-I-find-my-way-out-of-a-wet-paper-bag guyyyyyyyyyyyyy!} If it was a barn, you could not read what’s written on it. Not on the narrow side, not...

  Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Trail-Ultra-Scouting Hunter/Tracker/Poacher Dude. {Mister grrrrrrreat old redneck fan of “The Deer Hunter” movieeeeee!!!} You have no idea why runners do this, but you’re pretty sure that two-legged idiots in not much clothing attract lots of wildlife and probably...