Category: Published Musical Nonsense

[Merry Holidays, Everyone! We bring you grave tidings of mediocre joy. This series is about to end, like, NOW. We’re taking the rest of the day off and will see you again after New Year’s, just jam-packed with fresh (read: raw) new material. Oh, how can you stand to wait? (It’s easy; go for a...

[Happy “Bad Joke Friday” once again! Here, possibly, is the best joke: yours troubly is taking a little time off for “Da Hollydaze,” but is also thinking of trying something brand-new. Hence this particular RM/WoG shtick may very well be phased (fazed?) out…to extinction? After all, Bud Light is no longer doing its RMOG (anybody...

Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. “Cyber Monday Only” Millennial Shopping Runner Who Just Can’t Wait To Spill The Beans. {“Looooooooooooook at alllllllllllll-the-gas-mo-ney-I’m-saaaaaaaaaaaaa-ving!”} “Amazon is having a limited sale on Gummy Bears,” you post up and tell us. “And I just bought a Garmin Forerunner...

[Today we give thanks–tanks?–to Stu “Stu-man-Fu” Gibeau, who suggested today’s RM/WoG topic some weeks ago, when I was either weak from eye surgery or recovering from the weak before. In any event, Stu has considerably suffered himself–due to the unfairness of illness which has plagued his niece in the UK–so this is my little effort...

[Bear with me. I’m trying to post this as close to 11-11-11-11:11:11 CST as possible. Sure, it’s nuts. I admit! And probably just as nuts in my way as dressing up in a costume to run a marathon is in *his* (see below). Oh, and by the way, please notice the number of today’s offering–with...

[By the way, once again, none of this is pointed at anybody. ALL of it is fiction!] Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Big City Marathon-and-other-footraces Runner With A Halloween Costume On. {Arrrrrrrrrrre YOUUUUU Sven-goooooooo-lie OR Mis-tress El-viiiiiiiiiii-ra?} Rhinoceros costume? Carrot-top vegetable? Super hero? Carrier...

Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we propose a toast to you, Miss iPhone-overloaded-with-Apps Big City Marathon Runner. {“OMG!!! U2? LOL!! I-M-2222222kewl44444444wurdz!!!!!”} You have “it” tucked right there inside your little half-sleeve pocket, don’t you? And your iPod is there in your other pocket? Well, baby, you are totally...

[Today’s “Bad Joke Friday” contribution is based on an idea first suggested by my dear old (not so old, eh–she’s my age!) college friend Therese Simoneau, who worked with me on the student paper. Over the years her commentaries, observations, and political analyses have been spot-on and priceless. Without her, I’d still be the News...

[And this, in “furtheration” of the huge current outcry to “refudiate” marathon world records, could be next: http://ozmud.wordpress.com/2011/09/29/running-with-sarah- did-she-or-didn%E2%80%99t-she-summary-part-2/] Bud Light presents… REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Big City Backwards-Facing So-Called Marathon Judge Riding On Top Of The Media Truck. {“IIIIIIIII’m in a verrrr-ry priv-ill-eged poooooo-si-tion heeeeeeere!”}...

Ingelhook Wineries present… REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we propose a toast to you, Miss After-The-Marathon In The Family Meeting Area Clothes And Jog Bra Changer. {Misssssssssss Ohhhhhhhhhhh Myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Gawwwwwwwk!!} You just can’t resist–or wait–can you? You’re feeling all hot and sweaty with a huge compunction to change your clothes–right then...