Real Men/Women of Genius #37

Bud Light presents…

REAL MEN OF GENIUS

{Real men of geeeeeene-yuss}

Today we salute you, Mr. Running Complainer That Nobody Ever Waves Back.

{Mis-ter “Why can’t ev-ree-bod-y jus-getta-long–and waaaave at meeeeeee?”}

Boo. Dee. Hoo. Hoo. to. you. Do you wave when you run at every single biped and quadruped—indeed all gawk’s creatures great and small—and NONE of them returns your totally dufus gleaming greeting? And here you’re completely grinning like a brain-dead Howdy-Doody?

{“Whoa! No-bod-yyyyy’s pay-ying a-tennnnnnnnn-shun!’}

Have you looked in a mirror lately? Are your teeth pointy? Green? Is your cap on sideways? Could a reasonable boy from the nineteen-fifties possibly mistake you for “The Creature From The Black Lagoon”? Maybe they’re not waving back because you’re scaring the bejesus out of them.

{“Butttttttttttttttttttt I brusssssshh my teeeeeeeeeeeeeth!”}

You shout “hi” and they don’t respond? Do you think it’s a sickness? And is this strange twisted anomaly keeping you up at night? Are you tossing and turning and forever shoving knees up the small of your wife’s back because all is just not right with your world? Well, they SHOULD be hollering “hi” and waving back, dude. We’re on your side.

{“Thaaaaaaat’s what IIIIIIIII’ve been thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink-king too!”}

We think maybe you should carry beer when you run. Why not wave with one hand and extend the other with a Bud Light in it? Then, if they don’t wave back, you can throw it at them. Full and shaken and unpopped and just dying to explode.

{“Thaaaat seeeeeeeeeeems like such a gooooooood tip.”}

So go ahead and crack open one of those half-tossed Bud Lights In the meantime, O Serene Saint Francis of Assisi, because you’re waving and frothing at the mouth and talking to the gnats and the salamanders and the wildebeests just like he did. And after all, when nobody whatsoever smiles or waves, you can always go to church. And there when you wave, put a sawbuck between your fingers. Plop that dead president right smack on the collection plate. Then… we guarantee you’ll get a smile and a wave out of the guy who collects it.

{Mis-ter Run-ning Com-plain-er That No-bod-y Ev-er Waves Back!}

Bud Light beer: we don’t care where it’s made; we just dig their commercials.

( O_O )

Yours troubly,

Rich Limacher
TheTroubadour@sbcglobal.net

Yankee Folly of the Day:
Not sure if any of you Protestants, Hindus, Muslims, Taoists, Hebrews, or hippie radical godless commie punks ever heard of Saint Francis, but there may still be one or two hospitals named after the dweeb. Maybe even in Haiti?