Real Men/Women of Genius #102

Bud Light presents…

REAL MEN OF GENIUS

{Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!}

Today we salute you, Mr. Running No-Doubt Morally Superior Holier-Than-Thou.

{“Whaaaaat ARRRRRRRRRE you wri-ting here? Thisss is an out-raaaaaaaaaaaaaage!”}

Sense of humor? Please. There is no humor in the church of mine-holeyer-than-your-butt-is. How is it possible even to chuckle at the foibles of humanity when one’s full cranial capacity is totally locked-and-loaded and squinting only towards divinity?

{“IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII’ve got yoooooooooooooooooooou in my CROSS-hairs!”}

May God strike us dead? May our thingies rot in hell and our 1st Amendment-protected verbiage be forever banned? Just for having a little joy and laughter at the apparent expense of those whom ONLY YOU could possibly perceive as being victims of crass, insensitive, unfeeling, demeaning, sexist, written and verbal abuse? You mean those good-natured peeps who privately email us afterwards, laughing right along with?

{“I caaaaaaaaaaaaaan’t un-der-staaaaaaaand why-YOUR-crap’s-e-ven-al-lowwwwwed!”}

Perhaps “going postal” is your better option. Instead of publicly complaining against what nobody else is publicly complaining against, you should just go for a run. Take your AK-47 with you. Stop by the post office. Voice your outrage at the old-fashion way of expressing freedom of speech. And THEN have your totally bang-up pity party. You’ll then have just as many dead converts to your way of thinking as live ones.

{“Allllllllll-the-world’s-e-vil isss THEE fault of beer com-mer-cial nar-ra-tors like YOOOOOOOU!!”}

So DON’T crack open any ice-cold Bud Lights, O Heinrich Himmler of the Thought Police, because we all know alcohol is bad for you and that rigidly upheld lifestyle of the rightfully indignant and tidy-whitey morally uptighted. For golly sakes! As everyone in Christendom has known all their lives, Jesus himself DIDN’T turn that water into wine. Nope. He only walked on it. And as for the REAL true-believing guests of that ancient Wedding Feast at Cana? They all no doubt drank Gatorade.

{Mis-terrrrrrrrr Runnnnnn-ning Nooo-Doubt-Mor-al-ly-Su-per-i-orrrrrrrrr Ho-lier-Than-Thouuuuuuuuuu!}

Bud Light beer: we don’t care where they brew it; we just dig their commercials.

( O_O )

Yours troubly,
The Troubadour

Resource:
http://thefuntimesguide.com/2004/10/bud_light_real.php.

Yankee Folly of The Day:
We probbly instead oughta wonder WTF Congress is drinking or smoking deze daze.