Real Men/Women of Genius #94

Ingelhook Wineries present…

REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS

{Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss!}

Today we propose a toast to you, Miss Self-Confidence–But Absolutely NEEDING To Ask Everyone Else’s Opinion First.

{Misssss Oooo-zing With Cer-tain-tyyyy and Brim-ming With Con-fi-dennnnnnnnnnce!}

Should you wear compression socks–what does the group think? Should you take supplements–what’s everyone’s opinion? Should you buy new shoes for gravel roads? Does red, pink, or purple nail polish go better with toe socks? Should your scrunchie match your watch band? Your doctor just discovered a terminal brain tumor and has given you three weeks to live–should you have surgery now or wait until after Western States?

{“Twoooooooooooooooooooooo heads are bettt-ter than one!”}

Please. You signed on to a communal listserv dedicated to running ultramarathons. There are 3,000 members and you don’t know anybody. What suddenly compels you to consult *their* opinions? Do you just naturally trust the “wisdom” of strangers? So what happens when they give you 3,000 different opinions?

{“The morrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre the merrrrrrrrr-riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-err!”}

Tell us something. When you’re shopping at the supermarket, do you ask the lady pushing the cart next to you if she thinks Wheaties would look better inside your cereal bowl, or Cocoa Pebbles?

{Wee-think-your-break-fast-should-be thee “Sau-sage Sur-prise” at the Hearrrrrrrrrt At-tack Grillllllllllllllllllllllll.}

And what in the world do you do when someone else asks for YOUR opinion? Do you say, “I’m sorry, I don’t have one”? Maybe you should say, “Let me post to the Ultralist first and get back to you. I’m sure SOMEBODY can tell us whether your Heartrate Monitor is off when it registers 867 beats-per-minute while you’re fast asleep.”

{“Should-n’t it be clo-ser to twoooooooooooooo-hun-dred-and-six-ty-sev-ennnnn?”}

So twist that cap off quickly from your just-found cheapest White Zinfandel snatched out of the beer-and-wine cooler in the liquor aisle at Target, O Miss Perfect Demographic for The Nielsen Ratings, and maybe nobody will see you chug it down in the store. Because such a radically decisive bit of decision-making on your part would go a long, long way towards making you drunk–and therefore happy and pleasant and much, much easier to live with.

{Misssssssss Self-Con-fi-dennnnnnce–But Ab-so-lute-ly NEEEEEEEE-DING To Ask Ev-‘ry-one-El-se’s-O-pin-ion Firrrrrrrrrrrrrrrst!!}

White Zinfandel yuppie wine: we don’t drink it ourselves; we’d rather chug beer.

( O_O )

Yours troubly,
The Troubadour

Book Review:
http://tinyurl.com/VirginAndVeteran.

Better Resource:
http://thefuntimesguide.com/2004/10/bud_light_real.php.

Yankee Follies of The Day:
Just thinkin’ about how Mrs. Congressman Weiner took all those name jokes all these years for nothin’. Well, there is alimony, isn’t there? And the other folly of note today: former ILL (yes) Gov. Blagojevich’s fate is now in the hands of his jury of peers. He’ll be hoping his wife doesn’t dump him also. Oh, and her name? Pottymouth Patty.