Real Men/Women of Genius #46

Bud Light presents…

REAL MEN OF GENIUS

{Real men of geeeeeene-yuss}

Today we salute you, Mr. Emailing-on-the-Sly While You’re at Work Guy.

{Mis-ter “Don’t Call Me In-to the Meet-ing Right Now; I’m On-Line!”}

Never mind the fact that the struggling firm of Dewey, Cheatum, & Howe pays you several hundred dollars per hour to analyze the markets, improve their cash flow, and keep the whole enterprise afloat; you, right now, have a much more important job to do: You need to “comment” on some other dufus’s listserv post.

{“OMG yura idi-yut; IMHO yer POV is point-less & don’t evin bah-long on dys LIST!”}

Sharing your wisdom? Surely. Doing it IMMEDIATELY while at work? Of course! This day will never make it to five o’clock unless and until you stop everything, put down what you’re doing—what the company is paying you for—and globally point out the cyberspacific error of some dweeb poster-boy’s way.

{“Thaaaat’s not the way I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I do myyyyyy long runs!”}

And yet, each and every transmission you emit from your cubicle’s station on the company network automatically proclaims to the world: “This transmittal is intended for the addressee only, and the information, including attachments, may contain confidential or, like, way-privileged jive and so if your ass ain’t the ‘addressee’ then your ass needs to dump this, log-off, and report back. Or else!”

{“Its un-au-thor-iiiii-zed use and dis-clooo-sure is pro-hiiiiiiib-i-ted!”}

Or else—everyone across cyberspace will be chucklingly ROTFLMAO and imagining what might just happen to you if, indeed, they ignore your automatic corporate signature’s warning and proceed to oh-so-innocently transmit whatever you say to either that “Contact Us” link on your company’s website, or else whatever other company they can find that could be your firm’s competition.

{Does your “Team Lead” even know what you DOOOO all day?}

So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light after work, Oh Sleuth of the Airwaves on Company Time, because actually your boss, and his/her boss, and all the principals of the conglomerate as well as the full Board of Directors already know what your “handle” is, what your hobbies are, what listservs you subscribe to, and just how many hours of *their* day you already waste on porn sites.

{Mis-ter Eeee-mail-linnng-on-the-Sly Whiiiiiiiile You’rrrre@Work.Guy!}

Bud Light beer: we don’t care where it’s made; we just dig their commercials.

( O_O )

Yours troubly,

Rich Limacher
TheTroubadour@sbcglobal.net

Yankee Folly of the Day:
Of course, the ONLY reason why you’re not fired for this is because your boss, and his/her boss, and all the damn corporate principals themselves are surfing all over the Internet, too.